That's Enough, Jessica Alba(Part 4)

Dear Jessica Alba,

I warned you. You were supposed to stop acting. And what do you do to get back at me??? Get a gig on The Office? Oh, it's on. I swear to God I'm gonna hire an assassin to get you wounded so you can't do the episode. Because I won't leave an innocent baby motherless. Maybe I'll paralyze you so you can never act. I just can't believe. WHORE!!!!

Why do you have to go on and murder The Office? It was already going downhill, you're going to kill it!!!!!!


Excuse me while I go mourn The Office.

Show-killer!!!!!!

Sincerely,

Widow of the Office

The Perfect Guy

Edward Cullen + Jim Halpert + Any, or all three Jonas Brothers

Seriously, take any amazingness from any one of them and combine to make more amazingness. I believe this is a fact. :)

Ricky Gervais vs. Steve Carell = EPIC WIN

No fucking lie, that was the single greatest moment of my life. I fucking loved it. With assist by Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart snickering nearby, I feel like nothing can get better. Really, when it's up on youtube, I'm putting that shit on here. I <3 Ricky and Steve. Amazingness.

Here is the Epic Win.

WTF? NPH FTW!

Stupid Piven. Bitch. I mean I love Entourage but really, it was supposed to be NPH. Or Rainn Wilson. ARGH

Full On Little Miss Sunshine Feelings

As dysfunctional of a family they are, I would love to be a part of this family. Because the feelings they have to each other is so strong. They felt like a real family. It wasn't six actors doing a movie, it was a family. These people devoted themselves to this films, and I fell in love. I mean, I'm watching the scene of "Superfreak" and really, you just felt that these people genuinely cared. These actors left behind whoever they were before the film, and became these characters. I mean, each character had their breakdown, and it was so genuine. So raw. I legitimately felt the emotions and as they're running into the car at the end you just feel that yeah, these people will continue to go through hell, but together, they withstand everything. The whole family was on the edge of disaster as the movie starts, and they all find their breaking point, and at the end, nothing is resolved. Nothing. Not a single thing. They're still facing bankruptcy. The uncle still is dealing with depression. Dwayne has no idea what he'll do in the future. The grandfather is dead. But you just feel like they'll be alright. They'll find a way. Because the strength between them is incredible. I just love that.

Seriously, I think every actor in this movie should have gotten an Oscar. It should have won Best Picture. Not that the Departed wasn't amazing. But really, this was the indie that could. It really was. I mean, every actor in this movie was too perfect. Sometimes you wonder with relative unknowns(I mean, Toni Collette, Alan Alda, and Greg Kinearr are, but they aren't like, super famous and they aren't being talked about a lot) and you had to wonder if this was just for Steve Carell to show he wasn't a One Trick Pony. He showed that he wasn't, but it wasn't about him. He gladly took the backlight, which I applaud.

I just love this fucking movie. WATCH IT. And then, WATCH IT AGAIN.

Have You Ever Heard of the Term....

....Buddy?


Um, yes, yes I have 40 Year Old Virgin Version on USA channel. But I think you want the term FUCK BUDDY.



OH censoring.

Hazy, Here I Am!

So today I totally moved into my room. It was a sorta long and I had to deal with my parents and yeah. But my nephew came and that made the day. Apparently he found a cute guy for me. I don't know. My mom may have been smoking something. She did say this guy was hotter than Jonas. And that's like saying there's someone more like me than me. Yeah, it just doesn't make sense.

Anyways, I took a bunch of pictures to show off my sexy room. I put up all my posters and everything, and I feel like I've been here a year and my roommate just moved in when my roommate moved her yesterday and I just got here today. Haha.

Without further adu, my room:


My side vs. my roommate's side. :) I win for messiest.


My roommate's side. So plain. No offense, though. Just new.
And my room. Very like, ADD. Like, what do you look at first? I have no clue.
My plain dresser. I don't know if I get that wall yet. Maybe I'll put something up. I'm thinking mirror at most. Or Jonas. Who knows.
The full overview. ;0
My closet. My mom was in the closet all day. Only Jenn's mom could get her out of the closet. Ah, bad gay jokes. I'll be burning in hell.
Hey, who's that loser posing in the mirror? Oh that's just me.
My dresser. It's clean now, but eventually, eventually, it will be a mess. John Taylor glasses!
First wall part. Playboy bunny thing that finally got hung(only took half a year), Marilyn that kept falling, Toby! office calendar, half of this kickass centerpiece, Hannah Montana, and the Office again. Oh and you can see my desk too. Frames, printer junk. haha.
All of my desk, and above. Harry Potter, and Beatles(which has since fallen down and I'm waiting to find something better to put it up with, a little bit of Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist poster which I have two of, one is a present for my Finnish Spitz. And there's my whole desk. Very junky, and lots of frames. The bulletin board behind the comp is yucky. Very yucky.
Demi poster! framed and signed, my awesome shelving unit that I bought and my daddy put together, and gossip girl things I put together, microwave and fridge, Jonas and there's Coldplay and more Jonas, and an artsy photo and Audrey Hepburn! :) Oh and my bed.

Audrey and the Beatles, and Jonas, Knocked Up, Superbad, Little Miss Sunshine, and a bunch of others. Stuffies! I love Pudge, my cow. Best stuffy ever. Oh, spot the random photo of not famous people!I love this wall. First one I did. Very proud of. Got Beatles, Office, Jonas, and Seyfried! Woot! And Pudge! Go Pudge for posing very seductively in the pic. And there's my door. Pretty huh?



So that is it! my new room. Ah, I can't believe Fall is actually here. Bring on Jonas, man, bring it on.

My Will

So I'm pretty sure I'm like, dying. Well, not too sure, but it damn well feels like it. So I've set out to write my will. Don't judge me. And remember, I must be physically dead to claim these things.

My Living Will and Testament:


Anything Jonas - Sam
Anything Demi Lovato - Sam
Anything Penn State - Jenn
My Sean Astin autograph - Kim
My Josh Duhamel autographs - Ellen
My Office stuff - Ellen
My phone - Sam
Camp Rock items to be dispersed between Sam and Jenn
Posters to be dispersed with whoever wants what(what is left after Demi, Jonas and Office)
My computer - my mom
Alice in Wonderland stuff - my dad


Yeah, I think that's all I have that's worth anything. And these probably aren't worth much.

The Fake Kevin

Or the Faux-vin. Revealed:


He's the one with open arms. He looks like Mose from the Office.

Mindy, not Mandy, Kaling!!!!

So, despite all the wrong turns and mishaps we had on the trip to Scranton, we actually made it there and got to meet Ms. Mindy(not Mandy, as Finnish Spitz continually said) Kaling, who plays gossip queen, Kelly Kapoor. When I met her I was this close to asking either how BJ Novak was kissing, or how awesome JKras was but I resisted. I did tell her that her writing rocks my socks. At least I wasn't the loser one who was just like, "I'm chilling, you know, at the mall." People, learn from Finnish Spitz' stupidity. When meeting someone famous and they ask you how you are, do not say you're just chilling. It's just a wee bit insulting. Like, Finnish Spitz is the hugest fan of the Office and she totally made it seem like she was just at the mall. Tsk tsk Finnish. Next time, we'll get it right.

Time To Catch UP!

Wow, I have a million to write about, so why don't we start back on last Saturday, when me and da amazing Finnish Spitz traveled to Scranton. Well, we got lost a few times. Like, um, six. Seriously. I was like, how fucking hard is it to find this giant mall? Well, apparently really hard. Our first take was my fault, because I thought we went straight. yeah, no.

Second take we were talking about the Office. Not paying attention to the road.

Takes like, three through five were random turnarounds in South, East, Up, Down Scranton. I really had no damn idea that Scranton was that big. Seriously. Someone should have warned me, man. Like, wtf? And they need to give more markers to the huge mall. I'm sorry but malls to me need to be in open spaces, and if they're in the city, fucking mark it. Gosh. You get people like me and Finnish Spitz who are incapable of going the right way.

There was another take which was weird, cuz there was a three way and yeah. We're just plain stupid. No offense, FS.

Whatever Happened To...

Will Ferrell? Really, think about it. Him, and Stiller, and Vaughn and the Wilsons used to be the biggest hits ever. Anything they did was golden. And then, they lost it. They had Semi-Pro, Dupree, Blonde Ambition, and really, they never recovered. Sadness for the Frat Pack. Think of all the hits: Dodgeball, Anchorman, Wedding Crashers, Old School, uh, what else did Ferrell do good in? Um....crap. Oh, Talledega Nights too. But really, they were having a golden age. Comedy was really comedy, and not stupid romantic comedies. And then Judd Apatow kinda took over.

He worked on Anchorman, and basically took Steve Carell and started his new comedy gang. And you know what? They're a hell of a lot funnier. Less fart jokes, more intelligence. Come on, 40 year old version, Knocked Up, Superbad, Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I mean, he's had some crap stuff(Kicking and Screaming anyone?) and clearly Apatow didn't work as well with Ferrell. But he took his awesome group: Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen, Peter Segal, Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Bill Hader, I mean, he gives David Krumholtz some great little gigs. Like, you cannot beat McLovin. MCLOVIN!!!! How the fuck can you beat that? You can't. Oh, and add James Franco in that list.

Perfection. I used to love the Frat Pack, but man, I love this group of guys so much more. I'm hoping they have a lot more good years to go. That excites me.

But note to them: don't use Katherine Heigl anymore. She is mad conceited now. Ugh. Annoying as heck now.

John Krasinskaaaaayyyyyyyy

Yes, that is all I have to say. :)

Get Smart and Get Your Ass To a Theater

So in an otherwise crappy day, me, Finnish Spitz, and Leon Berger(if you don't get it, you never will) went to see the kick ass movie Get Smart. For some off reason, i had my doubts about the movie. i don't know, it just didn't seem like it was gonna be laugh out loud hilarious.

Boy was I wrong.

This movie seriously made me laugh so hard. Not too much toilet humor, which was gladly appreciated(I really despise toilet humor). Steve Carell was the funniest thing I've seen in a while. He is a master at the dead face glare. Every time he did it, I busted out. I'm surprised he was able to keep a straight face, and the other people in the scene didn't bust out laughing. I wonder how many takes they had to do. Probably at least ten. And that's what blooper reels are for.

Anne Hathaway was pretty good. Not like, oh my gosh, I loved her. But more like, she was alright. I enjoyed the character and she's really pretty but I don't know. She was the straight character, so they rarely get the best material. Ah well. Maybe it's time for Devil Wears Gucci now or something.

The Rock, well, I gotta say, I really liked him. He has steadily been getting better since the Rundown(trust me, you do not wanna see that movie). He was funny, and cool, and well, I liked his character. So into himself. He really plays that kind of character well.

Masi Oka! Ah, my Heroes fix. I needed that since it's been fucking forever since that show went away. But man was he awesome. My Hiro! Haha. Gotta love him.

Lastly, Alan Arkin. Damn was he awesome! I mean, Little Miss Sunshine was hella good, and he got the Oscar for it. But this movie, he was so fucking cool.

"Are you thinking the same thing I'm thinking?"
"Well, if it was 'oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, that swordfish is gonna pierce me..."

Fucking awesome. Gosh, he is my favorite old dude actor. :)

So seriously, see the movie. So funny. I looooove it. Steve Carell and Alan Arkin are Gods. Gods, I tell you!

Three More Years! Three More Years!

So they totally announced that Steve Carell was staying with the Office for three more seasons. And to this I say, YES! I always worry about actors who like hugely make it big after their hit show, and then they leave their show and become really bitchy and snobby. I mean, everyone knows Katherine Heigl is soooo headed there. And I mean, who wouldn't think Steve Carell wouldn't? He's box office gold. Even though I heard Evan Almighty sucked, he still got full crowds. Hello, 40 year old virgin, Get Smart, those other movies? I forget what else he was in. But still, his best gig was the Office. Come on, Michael Scott, or even Michael Scarn are pretty fucking awesome. Not my favorite character on the show, but still really funny. And I was really worried he was gonna be a very big bitch and leave the show because he was just too big. But nope. And that makes me smile. I love him. And I want to see Get Smart. Maybe after I flunk my driver's test tomorrow.

The Office is the Shiz

So, I finally caught up on the Office. And damn, I love that show. I mean, it is amazing. Like, better than anything I have seen in forever. Every damn minute of the show is just perfect. And I am really critical of shows. Like, I don't know. Sometimes I just go with the flow of a show, but others I get really super critical. This show sometimes is annoying(I mean, I just don't know, there are moments where it falters) but most of the time, it is miraculous. I mean, seriously, I do not know how they come up with some of this stuff. Like, Dwight. I don't really call him that. I'm always ready to call him Dwigt, from that one episode. Oh Dwigt. I love this show. Too much. :)