Friday, December 5, 2008

Wanted: A Secure Third Year

I'm a person who lives at the bottom. I expect things to fall apart. I've always been like that. The first time my plans for UPark fell through, I was hurt, but hey, I got through it. The second time I wasn't too upset. I kinda expected it. For some reason, everyone thinks that living with me will ruin a friendship? Am I that like, um, messed up? Damn. I had no idea.

Anyways, now I really don't know what to do. I kinda want to live off campus because of the freedom, but I don't have anyone to find an apartment with, so I'd need to go and find a group already formed. Which I might do. It'll be....interesting. I thought this one place was nice, but then I saw that rent is 725 a month. Mother fucker. I am not made of fucking money, let me tell you. I think even like, 400 is a lot. I'm a cheapo, what can I say?

Then I kinda want to live on campus. I mean, the problems I would have are like, done with. But then again, I want the freedom of living off campus and being completely independent. I hate these kind of decisions. I mean, either way, I'm alone, and stuck with people I don't know. Curse people like my one sister who makes everything so goddamn easy. I mean, no offense to her, but out of five kids, four of us know that life isn't like, amazingly awesome. She's like fucking blessed, I swear. It's kinda annoying, because her life is what I want, and I know I'll never have. Seriously. Maybe I make things too complicated or something, because sometimes I wonder, should things like friends really be this difficult? Eh.

Off topic. Ok, going back onto that. I need opinions. And seriously, tell me you're reading, because I get all conscious and then I feel like I'm talking to crickets. I like to know I have more than three readers(my one sister, Finnish Spitz and S). I wonder about the rest of ya'll.

Really. What should I do? Or rather, what would YOU do if you were in my situation? I'm giving myself this weekend to decide.


Sam said...

lol okay answer from my blog. Jonas was only an afterthought cause i thought it was hilarious that my grandmother thought the kid was cute. i still love them all equally! lol. and i still get way excited when i see jonas things so your good :)
and secondly here umm i wish i could help you out. personally i think i will be living in a dorm just because it will be my first year away. but for you it might actually be cheaper to live off campus since living in the dorm is so crazy expensive. you know what i mean? so i basically was pry no help at all lol

The Drowsy Observer said...

don't worry, i wouldn't find you difficult to be around or live with. I mean, we have a plan to live in ny together, and don't worry I won't back out of that deal. I'm not too worried about it ruining our friendship, so yeah, i wish i could help out. if we were going to the same school, we would so be rooming together, you know it! winky face.

feudisma-it's that part in a fight, when you forget why you started fighting in the first place.