I'm a person who lives at the bottom. I expect things to fall apart. I've always been like that. The first time my plans for UPark fell through, I was hurt, but hey, I got through it. The second time I wasn't too upset. I kinda expected it. For some reason, everyone thinks that living with me will ruin a friendship? Am I that like, um, messed up? Damn. I had no idea.
Anyways, now I really don't know what to do. I kinda want to live off campus because of the freedom, but I don't have anyone to find an apartment with, so I'd need to go and find a group already formed. Which I might do. It'll be....interesting. I thought this one place was nice, but then I saw that rent is 725 a month. Mother fucker. I am not made of fucking money, let me tell you. I think even like, 400 is a lot. I'm a cheapo, what can I say?
Then I kinda want to live on campus. I mean, the problems I would have are like, done with. But then again, I want the freedom of living off campus and being completely independent. I hate these kind of decisions. I mean, either way, I'm alone, and stuck with people I don't know. Curse people like my one sister who makes everything so goddamn easy. I mean, no offense to her, but out of five kids, four of us know that life isn't like, amazingly awesome. She's like fucking blessed, I swear. It's kinda annoying, because her life is what I want, and I know I'll never have. Seriously. Maybe I make things too complicated or something, because sometimes I wonder, should things like friends really be this difficult? Eh.
Off topic. Ok, going back onto that. I need opinions. And seriously, tell me you're reading, because I get all conscious and then I feel like I'm talking to crickets. I like to know I have more than three readers(my one sister, Finnish Spitz and S). I wonder about the rest of ya'll.
Really. What should I do? Or rather, what would YOU do if you were in my situation? I'm giving myself this weekend to decide.