Thursday, May 29, 2008

Avert your eyes

Yes, I warned you. How fucking scary is that shit? Like, ah! I mean, I'm sorry but Heidi Montag is scary as shit. She is fine on the Hills, but in real life(which, technically, the Hills is real life. So wait, what is real real life? celebreal life? Sure) she is psychotic. I mean, how desperate can you be? I doubt that any decent human being would go and pose in a veil on the cover of a magazine saying, I wanna be married! Why does she even need to? She was engaged, and broke off the engagement. It's her own damn fault she's begging. Like, she is just too much of a fame-whore. And I know all types of whores. There's the real legit whores(who I'm betting are the nicest of whores), then you have fame whores like Heidi Ho-Bag and her man slave, then there's blog-whores like me(Come on, 65 in less than a month? That is whoring it up), and youtube whores which will be me, but not yet; I haven't joined the ranks of Chris Crocker and all those other crazy youtubers. Actually, I doubt I'll ever become that crazy. I mean, I don't think I'm gonna do a video about like, "Leave Jonas Brothers Alone!" Ha, actually that would be funny. But I would take it too seriously. I think I'll do one on like, say, Heidi Ho-Bag. Then you know I be lying. Haha, that would just be too fun. Excuse me while I go write up my script for that.

I'm a garbage-robber.

Yes, a garbage-robber. Similar to a grave-robber. And not me personally, just my rents. They seriously stopped and saw someone's garbage, and raided it. Oh yes they did. I mean, I know that saying "One man's garbage is another man's treasure," but like, seriously? We've resorted to raiding other people's garbages? Only like, racoons do that. And last time I checked, I was not a part of a family of raccoons. Ugh. I'm going on a three hour drive tomorrow, who knows how much garbage we'll pick up on the way there!

Just Not Feeling Jonas

Yeah, I know, look at that pic. Nick is like, wtf? Today is like, an unJonas day. Like, I don't care for them today. I don't know, it's like, a book now? Are you serious? This publicity is really getting annoying. Like, I mean, gosh, stop with the Jonas-mania. I'm sick of it. I mean, I love them, but this media attention is like, gosh. People are milking them for all they have. I mean they must love it, but it just annoys me. I hate when a celebrity gets a ton of attention. Then the fun is lost. I mean, I love going somewhere and searching for something Jonas. It just gives me a thrill. I do that with all my obsessions. Orlando Bloom, Coldplay, the Beatles, the OC, Alice, any of them. I'm a constant searcher. Like, OB got too big, and now even Alice. So many places have stuff of hers in their stores. I still get so excited when I see something, but I feel like I gave her the start. I obsessed the book and stuff way before you saw Alice shirts in Hot Topic, Delia's, Kohl's, and I'm betting WalMart. When stuff is easy to find, the rush is gone. I miss the rush. It's been happening for a while with the Jonas Brothers. More and more stores. More and more publictity. The minute Nick hits 18, Disney's gonna drop them. Probably sooner. I'm guessing they got at most two years left with Disney. Then, back to whatever. Same thing with anyone. I kinda wish the Jonas Brothers would fall from fame. Yeah, it would make them easier to meet. But I also thinking their songwriting would just increase. They gotta take time off and just....I don't know. Sigh.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The Final Countdown!!!

30 days.

30 fucking days.

Yes, that is right. 30 days until the test of all tests. Driving. UGH. I just scheduled it, because dude, I need to get the fuck out of this house!!! Little things piss my mom off, and I just want to get away. I want to fucking be able to drive, ALONE, listen to my jams and scream my lungs out. Then I'll probably always have that raspy voice. Oh well.
I need to get practicing. But, uh, not right now, because it is thundering, and that scares me. Totally not ready for that. Sigh. How old does the other person have to be so that I can drive with them? 18, 21, 25? I have no clue.
Fuck I just realized I'll have to pay for my own gas. But me and Dora, on the road of life. (BTW, Dora is my gas guzzling car.) So I really need my job. Good thing I took the drug test! Fingers crossed!
I need to go like, not panic or something. I think I'll go read some Jonas Secrets.

Monday, May 26, 2008


No, seriously, what would Garbo do? That place is freaking covered in peanuts. Poor Garbo. No Peanut free zones there.

Summer Fried Rice's

This morning, very early in the morning, I was introduced to the all holiness of Rice's. Wow. Was in amazement. Seriously. They had the best Sno Cone place. Like, oh my gosh, it was so big. And for three bucks! Four scoops! The lady gave me four scoops of ice. I freaking pay for one scoop at a buck twenty five at QMart. Ripoff! Though I do like QMart's flavoring a bit more, but I think there are just more points for the ice quantity and price ratio than the flavoring. I'm just gonna have to take my own flavoring next time to Rice's and then BAM! Perfection. I need to buy a snow cone maker. I gotta get on that. Note to self: BUY SNOW CONE MAKER. Or, if any of you lovely readers would like to get me a present, you now know what I want. ;)
Oh yeah, Rice's had a bunch of other stuff. I bought waaaayyyy too much stuff. Some Juicy stuff, a new wallet, some buttons(one of which was the Beatles, also known as Led Zepplin. Seriously, if you're selling a button, like, know who are on your buttons. SERIOUSLY.) and I think I got some other stuff. Oh yeah, Pink pants, and uh........I don't remember. I just remember the snow cone. That shit was amazing. Go to Rice's. Snow Cones are the shiznit.

Loving Lovato

Okay, so before I was just like, yeah Demi Lovato is mad cool. Now I'm like, she fucking rocks. I'm addicted to the few songs I've found of hers, and like, I'm just in love. Man, Lovato! Like, for shiz. I can't do this. She's fucking 15 years old. Of course that hasn't stopped my obsession with Hannah Montana. Man, I am just way too childish. Sigh. Judge me all you want. I've accepted it. Reverted back into the little kid age. I looooove looking at Hannah Montana stuff. Not so much the High School Musical. I don't know. I just don't like the second one a whole lot. Or any of the stuff. Maybe when the third one comes out, I'll be super happy and seriously just buy out a Claire's store. Or steal it all. That Lehigh Valley worker totally knows I'm a klepto, so maybe not that one. I probably will go in and they'll be all over me. Not that I don't blame them. I did take something. Oh crap, I totally just outed myself there. Don't tell the Claire's lady! She probably found this, and reads this, and is like, "I KNEW IT!!!" And she'll go to tell her coworkers and they'll just stare. She'll be on a mission to destroy me. Great. Another person hellbent on destroying me. Sigh. Oh Coldplay commercial! Yeah, that's a little selling out, but clearly, I do not mind at all. Any time to see Coldplay is fine with me. Because they are the bomb. Wait, what was this post about? Uh...lemme check. Oh yeah, Lovato. She kicks ass. Seriously, get her songs "Open" and "Stronger." Both are like, woah. Ha, Aly & AJ reference! Score a point for me!

Ike + Peach 4Eva <3 <3 <3

So that would be a photo I took of Sam's lovely tv screen. Late night Super Smash Brothers 97 minute game. I still do not know who the heck accidently picked the 97 minute one. But after that, we were pretty much out of it. And this is what came of it. There are videos. But we're just waiting until we have a new youtube account. Sigh, but here are some pics of the cute couple. Dear gosh, this is simply sad.
These are some lovely images I took. Ike defending Peach's honor against Meta Knight, Ike killing the evil twin of Peach. And then Peach defeating the evil Peach's ass. Yeah, what now.

Check Mic One Two Three

Check those bad boys out. This is just a taste of what you'll be seeing this summer from me. I am a craft whore, a blog whore, and soon to be youtube whore. Yes, I am just a whore this summer. Ten dollar, ten dollar. Oh that was low. But anyways, that took a lot of work, and I thought I would just show it off. I rock a hot glue gun. Heck yes.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Finnish Spitz is in the State!!!!

So, yay to the yay, my lovely Finnish Spitz is FINALLY back in PA, and I am soooooo mad excited. We are attempting to plan on making some nice videos for the youtube over the summer, so I am just going to be a youtube whore this summer instead of a blog whore.

So I thought I would let you all rejoice in the fact that my Mr. T is back! Holla!

Now, I just need to find where I spent all my damn money. sigh.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Si, Cici! Mas, mas!

So I just ate at the new Cici's Pizza down in the A-town because we've eaten there before but like, in different places. This is a new location. And my dad was in heaven. I still am feeling stuffed. All you can eat pizza. Yeah, it's just easy to digest. Cheap, and yummy. Just look at this:

Yes, children, that IS macaroni on pizza. And yes, it was amazing. As was the spinach pizza. And my dad said the one with barbeque sauce was good as well.

So I'm pimping out Cici's Pizza, even though they really do not need the business. They were like, mad packed tonight. :)

Don't Push My Buttons!....Well, okay, since you asked.

Behold the masterpiece. My beautiful bag. Custom made, by me, for me, and everything else is about me. :)

Yeah, I just thought I would show off my skills....and my mad button obsession. It's getting a little obsessed with buying buttons. JoBros, Alice, Beatles, DCFC, Family Guy. I pretty much buy any buttons that tickle my fancy. Even Betty Page. Sigh. I have button issues.

Two Months.

I know, it's a serious blog, but whatever. I have the intention of three funny ones right after this. I just felt like I had to talk about this.
I can't believe it's been two months. Or should I say only two months. I feel like it has been so much longer, a century perhaps. Like, I feel my whole life is so different from those weeks beforehand. Like, for the fact that the first time I saw the Jonas Brothers, she was around. If someone had told me I had eleven days left, I don't exactly know what I would do. I could say I would be absolutely devestated, but after so long in the hospital with no end in sight, I think I would've been happy. I would've seen her more. I really don't remember the last words I said to her, the last day I even saw her. I think it was the Friday before. The next day was my nephew's birthday party. I couldn't hang out with friends because that night I was baking, and then party the whole next day. It was Easter weekend. My parents and me did the usual: pick me up at Hazy, then go to the hospital. The rest is really blurry. I guess I blocked out what happened then because I can remember baking later that night, and even watching the new episode of Hannah Montana. Uncle Earl was on it. I took pictures of my cupcakes. I remember a lot of stuff after I saw her with such detail. Maybe because it was something different; not the same thing I saw every time I came in.
Either way, I'm glad I didn't see her the day she went away. I mean, I wouldn't want to deal with that. My mother saw her and got to unknowingly say her final goodbyes. She waited until my brother came home that weekend to see her one last time. I think she knew. She waited until my nephew hit the big year old, before she left.
It really doesn't feel like just two months. I mean, I can look back on my journal and see my tear-stained pages of almost four months ago when they said it was the end. I had lost it, done things I regret, and she pulled through. Maybe that was kind of when she left for me. The rest of the time was just me getting to see her, value her, and not take advantage, or dread going in to see her. I didn't get to see her too much this last year because of college, since every Monday my mom and me would go in. We would just watch tv. I really didn't know that I would be begging for those simpler times so quickly.
I think my family has done the most changing after all this. I may be wrong; I don't know. I feel like I've grown. It gets hard to deal with my mom some days, and I know she's gone through a lot, but sometimes she can't always be fair. But I think I just have to deal. To let her deal. It'll probably be years before she doesn't have to listen to the answering machine or feel the need to buy something for her every day. I have those needs, but I guess I was already detached from the situation before that I had come to terms with it. I had an extra two months to understand that life isn't fair, but it does make sense. Eventually I'll find a sense in all this. And I'm always hoping she is just hanging around up there, playing Bingo, and making sure we all don't lose our minds.

Random Indiana Jones Thoughts

While watching the second time, some random thoughts came into my head throughout the night:

~Wow, Shia LaBeouf is HOTT. Like, day-umm.
~Cate Blanchett's skin is super smooth. Like, wow. I just want to touch it.
~I want an Indy hat.
~Who the fuck's side is Mac on???
~What the hell happened to Indy with that skull? Like, he was fine. WTF?
~I hope I don't miss the Jonas Brothers online because of this.
~Ohemgee, those monkees have the same do as Shia!
~Bugs terrify me. Get them away!!!!!
~Aw Mutt covered his mom from blasts. HOW CUTE!!!
~Why do natives just like, hide in the ceiling, waiting for people? That has to be boring.
~And how the heck did they get up there?
~What the hell was the purpose of the sandtrap? Just to get stuff in that didn't fit anywhere else?
~Everytime I want to type Jones, I type Jonas first. ;P

Yep, that was me.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Ha, Jonas Brothers are just as good as Coldplay!

Look at that, look at that. Coldplay, Jonas Brothers. My two current favs. Yes! I was so excited to see that. The Jonas Brothers join the ranks with Weezer and Dave Matthews Band and Motley Crue as the hottest albums. I don't count V Hudge Pudge and Man-iara. They aren't real artists. The rest are bands. Good bands. Yay for Entertainment Weekly! They put Coldplay and JoBros near each other. I mean, yeah, they faltered with Usher as the front cover, but I'll let it go, because the Jonas Brothers were included in hot albums. I feel vindicated. Like, finally, they are in a real magazine not for their hot looks. They're in there for their MUSIC. Yeah, I know, they do play music. Crazy, huh? I know. Check out their albums.

OH! And check out my lovely friend Sam's blog!!!! and then my friend's friend's blog:

I hope I got that right. lol

People With My Name Scare Me

Seriously, who hasn't looked up their name on Facebook? How weird is it to see people who have the same name? It scares the shit out of me. I feel like I have no identity. Like I'm a copy. Yeah, this is what happens when I stay up too late.

I forgot how much of a studmuffin Zac Efron is

After the buzz of High School Musical went by, and then the Jonas Brothers took their rightful place among teen hearts, people kinda forgot Zac(quiesha, to the Perez fans) Efron. Like, people just kinda flip past him in magazines, and he has to compete for the spotlight against newer heartthrobs on the block. But while searching for some HSM 3 pics, I came across this:

And man, how adorable is he? That's from 17 Again, some new film that comes out in 09. I think Matthew Perry plays the older him. Yeah, I know, those two look nothing alike. Both are cute, but in waaayyyy different ways. Seriously though, aw, Zac is a cutie. I like completely forget through all the Jonasmania. I mean, Jonas and Hannah Montana quickly took over Disney. They just did HSM2 not even like, a year ago, and that is just so old and over. They have Camp Rock now. But whatever. I'll watch both. Of course I'll pay to see HSM3 and 17 Again. Zac Efron is a hottie! I mean, yeah he's with that slutty Vanessa Hudgens(I can never look at her the same) but he's a nice refresher from what you usually see. I just love that pic. Man, let's get Zac Efron back into popularity. Or am I wrong? Is he still cool? Somebody ask a twelve year old girl. There lies the answer.

Dear Undisclosed Bitch

Dear Undisclosed Bitch,

Wow. I really hate you. Kthx!

Indiana Jones and the BAMF'ing movie


So today I witnessed the all holiness of Indiana Jones. Incredible. Like, I admit I haven't seen the first three fully through, but the good thing about this is, you didn't. It was better if you did, but even I knew a bunch of the past movie inside jokes. Really, incredible is the word to describe it. Of course, the ending was a little odd, and I almost got really mad, but they fixed it. Steve Speil and George Lucas know what they're doing.

First off, Harrison Ford. For being like, sixtysomething, he is still eye candy. Even against Shia LeBeouf(and yes I spelled that right...probably because I have it in big lettering next to me). But really Harrison was awesome. I was like, dude, he did all his own stunts? GET OUT. He was fucking killer! Like, totally BAMF. I mean, you do not want to mess with that dude. Like, I wish I was in one of his classes. I mean, I would totally learn archeology or anthropology and that shit if he was teaching it. And I got to go on one of his kick ass adventures. Yeah, the adventure is the clincher. Otherwise, no deal. I usually fall asleep in anthropology. Many people can attest to me doing that. I just texted or slept. Good times. But really, Harrison Ford kicked some major ass. Like, shit, he is better than all the action heroes now. Not that I can think of any real iconic ones now that aren't superheroes. Though he probably could whoop a few superheroes' asses. Spiderman, I'm looking at you. I mean, Indy and that whip. I wouldn't mind being caught by that. Mmm....Is it odd that I find a guy older than my dad hot? I guess that's the appeal of Hugh Hefner.

Now, Shia LeBeouf. DAMN. Break me a piece of that greasy hottie. Like, he was also bad ass. But like, he wasn't as good as Harrison Ford, but he totally was awesome. Like, trying to be a cool guy, but really, he's just a little kid. He was like the audience pretty much. The new generation. We never knew this guy, and all of a sudden, we're just thrown there. And we try to be really cool and all, like we've seen it all before since like every movie is a giant action movie, but we ain't seen nothing yet. We are thrown back in time to a really amazing adventure that doesn't require superhero powers or the supernatural(well, I'll get back to that one.)

Third, Cate Blanchett. Does she rock or what? Whatever she does is amazing. Like, she is in all the big blockbuster movies, and you would not recognize her. She was Galadriel, from Lord of the Rings. Two totally different people, yet she owned both of them. And she was pretty scary. That hair was just too tight. You would not want to give her a noogie. The only thing that sucked about her was the way she died. Like, WTF? I was expecting one more awesome fight.

Alright, here are some small thoughts I had during it:

BUGS! Ew, ew, ew. What made it worse was that my phone vibrated at the same time bugs were all over the people. AH, scary! I almost screamed. And I was going nuts during the bug scene. Ask Kim. She can attest to that.

Aliens. Um, awkward!!! Like, that was where I kinda was like, they went too far. I mean, I was told they all go into the supernatural somehow, but this was a little ludicrous. And stereotypical. Total alien stereotype. Pfft. At least change it around.

Janitor!!! Woot, go Janitor. (From Scrubs, if you didn't know). But how dare you go off on Indy! You have no right!!!!!

Caleb!!! Oh, the OC(and Lost...and I think Heroes?) fanatic in me went nuts. I love Alan Dale. He is the shiz.

Oh, and who didn't see the Mutt Williams being Indy's son thing? I mean, I knew it. haha. Stupid spoiling people.

The ending. Like, alright, what was with the hat rolling to Mutt. I mean, hello, no!!!!! He could not hold the story. It's all about Henry Jones JR. Not the third. He's just a fun sidekick. They were right with having Indy grab that from him.

Oh yeah, there is definitely not gonna be another. The ending was TOO final. Which made me happy. No more. I'm satiated.

People, seriously, go see the movie. I'm going to see it again tomorrow. Heck yes.

Dear Demi Lovato

Dear Demi Lovato,

So I guess I have a bit of explaining to do on my part. Okay, so originally when I saw you in As The Bell Rings, and heard you were opening for the Jonas Brothers, I rolled my eyes. I was like, ew, she sucks. Something about your face creeped me out. I admit it. And then, on one of my YouTube rants, I was like, alright, I'll watch Demi and Selena's video blogs. And you two were so cute! Much better than a double M duo. I was like, okay, I really like Selena, and Demi doesn't seem too bad. But I wasn't sold. Then I heard you on Camp Rock and started checking out your sites. You started to grow on me. And now, well, I listened to some of your songs, and wow. Open is my new favorite song. I can honestly say I <3 you now. Yes, I admit that as well. I can't wait to see you in concert(I even want to check you in Philly for that free concert ;)) and so I wanted to apologize. For a while, I thought you were a weird looking annoying person, but now, I've seen the error of my ways. Doesn't that make you feel better? You have another devoted fan. I'll be watching your show BTW. Looks nice.

So once again, sorry for thinking you were really odd looking. Oh, and keep bangs. It just suits you a helluva lot better than without.

K, Bye!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Me and the HSM Cast are all in this together

Yes, that is me, next to the pretty HSM 3 sign at the movie theater. And yes, people stared. What of it? I didn't have enough time to take pics with Wall-E, and Zohan and the Hulk. Maybe next time. That place is a silly photo person's dream. Seriously. It was like me with the wax figures. I could not be stopped. Though I did, because the stares were getting to me. Oh well.
Anyways, I'm pretty excited for the big screen High School Musical. I love the Tis(dale). She is my favorite. I mean, she is perfect as Sharpay. Hey, she's the reason my nickname is Akita and my Finnish Spitz is Finnish Spitz. Good ol' High School Musical. I love Disney movies. They are just so much fun. I want to have a marathon of them. If you'd like to join, just tell me. I'll bake cupcakes!

Cupcakes are just a feel good time.

Earlier this week, me and the lovely Sam made cupcakes. I just ate another, and damn, we are awesome bakers! We should like win a prize. I mean, they were awesome. With icing from scratch. Yeah, we are that cool. This is my third venture into baking cupcakes; I've become a master at writing things on cupcakes. So if you need any writing on a cake or so, I'm your gal. Hands of an expert baker. Yes yes, that's me.

Here are some photos of the lovely cupcakes. If you want one, just contact one of us. Two bucks a piece. Jk. If you say you got the idea from here, we'll give you a 50% discount! Then its only a buck! Plus tax, ;)

An Asher Approved Playbill!!!

So my lovely friend Kim went to see Spring Awakening again last night. And being the amazing person she is, got the autograph of Asher from Gossip Girl! How awesome is that??? I mean, yummy Asher. He is nice looking. And he can sing? Well, sign me up. I love my playbill. It's gonna go with the signed Sean Astin thing I have. Ah, I love times like these. Good times.

I love you Kim!!!!!!

I seriously don't think I can do this anymore.

I mean, I love the Jonas Brothers, but I just think they are getting too much exposure. The more and more that Disney pushes them, the less I like them. I mean, it's really making me sick. I mean, come on. Dolls? Did we really need fucking dolls? No. I don't know, I just wish Jonas wasn't as child-friendly. They need to get away or something, but Disney has sunk their teeth in. They're too wholesome to leave. I'd probably never be allowed at Disney. Of course, Lindsay Lohan was there and Britney Spears, and anything I've done is not nearly as bad as those two. But I mean, seriously, stop the madness. I feel like a sick feeling in my stomach that as the more Camp Rock is being loved and promoted, the madder I get, and the sicker I get. Ugh. Disney, I like you, but why do you kill things? HSM basically was ruined for me. Hannah Montana almost was. Don't do it to Jonas. Please? No, you won't listen.

Excuse me while I go throw up and decide what to do with my Jonas obsessed life now.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Because he rocks, he rocks on.

Finally. I got the photo. A Demi Lovato site has helped me grace this blog with sexy Kevin. I cropped it, because who the hell cares to see Demi, Nick, or Joe? Not me. Well, I mean, I do like them all, but okay, seriously. Do you see him? His eyes just say, oh yeah, come to me. Mmm. I would come to him. Just flash that look and I am jello. I mean, gosh darn it. If I thought other amazing photos were hot, clearly I never got to see this one. Wow, I cant stop staring. Future husband, here I come. ;) Yeah I know it'll never happen, but I like to dream....

And the winner of American Idol will be named.....David.

I don't follow American Idol at all really anymore. I know a decent amount of names. I think. Actually, like three. David Archuleta, Kristy Lee Cook and David Cook. Because David Cook was the love child of Archuleta and Kristy, right? Right? Or did I get that completely wrong? I always do that. But I'll be watching tonight(A certain band of anti-huggers will be performing) since I always at least watch the last ten minutes. I like to know right away who wins so I dont talk to someone the next day and make a fool of myself. The last time I truly watched the entire season had to have been....the third season. Oh, Jon Peter Lewis. He was an awesome pen salesman. Gotta love him. I cried when he got voted off. I really did. Then I got to see him in concert....good times, good times. Yeah, I only like two AI winners: Kelly Clarkson(Never Again is the greatest song EVER) and Carrie Underwood. I only know that one song from Underwood, Before He Cheats. I like that one. Because other than that, she stinks. I think. She's all country and I do not like country. But Kelly was the shiz. First and forever the best. I mean, each of her albums had a bunch of good songs on it. I used to pretend I was gonna audition for American Idol. Apparently my future sister in law is good enough for it. My mom told her. Of course, that was at a drunken bachelorette party, so it might have been the Monkey Boys talking. Yeah that is definitely scary. I babysat kids while my mom went out drinking. She is so never invited to my bachelorette party. I do not want her to see me in intoxicated. Yeah, that would be a big no no.

Damn expensive neck pillows.

I admit, I am a Jonas Brothers conseiur. I spelled that wrong. Oh well, you know what i went. I think. It sounds like con-oo-sewer. Yep, Im a conoosewer. Alright, whatevs. That means that if there is a Jonas Brothers mention, such as, say Corn Pops, I must have it. Therefore, when I see a neck pillow, I must go, Neck Pillow! (Search youtube for jonas brother one week if you are out of the loop) and then I grab said neck pillow, put it on for a second, then check the price. Fucking nine dollars. Who spends nine dollars on a neck pillow? Not me. I'm good with my money(despite the fact I spend 25 dollars on wigs....yes, wigs. Gotta have them). Relatively good. I need a job. Stupid bitch who hates me at Superfresh. They probably all lost hope in me. And trust me, I would not go back if I didn't need the money. I kinda have to pay my dad back, and I want to do something for his birthday(I won't say what because I told him the address to this, so I might spoil it!) and I want to buy stuff. I'm a spender. And that will not fly if I want to get to Europe. Eh, I'll just bartend all next year. If you need me, I'll be practicing my beverage concoctions. I'll also have to taste them to make sure they're good. Oh, tonight will be a fun night.

Forgive me Potter Pals, I forgot...until now!

Daniel Radcliffe. Yummy. I better be going to see him in Equus(Kim, you hear me?) and until this very second, I completely forgot there was a movie featuring the awesome HP would be coming out in November. I love HP birthday presents. It doesnt beat the time when it came out on my birthday. That was awesome. And sweet, now my brother can pay for the tickets. That sucked when I had to. Especially after spending an entire summer at the movie theater with my peeps(yes, I did just say peeps.) and getting free movies. That better happen this summer. I also need to get my job at Superfresh back. People remind me to call them tomorrow. I'll forget, like I did today. I have a horrible memory. I remember the stupidest things, but when it comes to real interesting and important stuff like a job or Harry Potter, I forget. Selective memory, I suppose.

Mmmm.....feels like old cds...

So, I just started to fully listening to the new Death Cab for Cutie album(JoBros and Hannah have mostly been on) and as the albums went by with DCFC, they changed, but I wasn't sure if it was for the best. I mean, Transatlanticism was incredible, and really gave them the acknowledgment they have now, even if it was their fourth album. It took them a little bit. Don't judge. Plus, every album they have done is incredible. Transatlanticism is by far my favorite, and I guess I'd say Photo Album after that. Plans was good, but it didn't feel like the others. Not that I'm saying it was bad. It was still awesome. It just wasn't the same feel. Maybe that was because that was the big jump to Atlantic from Barsuk, I don't know. Either way, Plans wasn't the best out of the bunch, but then, this year, they come out with Narrow Stairs. Shit, man. Am I in love. Like, Ben Gibbard, how the fuck do you keep doing this? I need to meet this guy. Just like hug him and bow to him. And take a pic. And then I could post here going, "I fucking met a God!" Anyways, Narrow Stairs totally feels like old times. Like, Photo Album era. And that was definitely a good era. Like, the song "The ice is getting thinner" definitely sounds a bit like "Coney Island" or "Steadier Footing." Those were like my favorite songs. Even as I write this, I just keep wanting to switch albums to listen to my favs, but I need to learn all these new songs. Death Cab is so perfect for getting me into the writing mood. I never feel that way with JoBros or Hannah Montana. Those two keep me in the real world, oddly enough. But Death Cab, like Beatles or Coldplay, take me to that plain where all I want to do is create deep characters and develop them so intricately. Like, I thought maybe I was in a writing funk. Maybe I've been in a music funk. Like I said, thats not to say the JoBros and Hannah aren't awesome. They just aren't deep enough yet to get to that writing level. McCartney, Lennon, Gibbard, Martin, they are all born songwriters. And those are just the front people of the bands. Those bands were just kinda made incredible. Unfortunately, Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers are a little young. The JoBros are getting there. They're writing their own stuff, and the words are pretty good, but I definitely think they need to experiment a lot more. But I doubt Hollywood Records or Disney is going to let them. They have their niche, they're probably on contract not to change it. But definitely at least Nick is working his way up to that amazing songwriting. No one can deny S.O.S. is fucking catchy as hell. Hello, he wrote that thing in ten minutes. TEN MINUTES. I mean, I don't know if that was just the words, or the music, or both, but whatever way, you gotta hand it to him, he got it right. Their new cd comes out, what, August 12th, and I think that is when I'll be deciding exactly where they are on the songwriting scale. Until then, I'll simply love their catchy tunes and lose my voice for four days(and counting!). Oh, and listen to Death Cab. :D

Why do I keep ending these things with smiley faces? I'm fucking obsessed with them. Sheesh. I'm doing all I can not to end this afterthought without a smiley face. lol :)


BTW - No Sunlight on Narrow Stairs? Just like I Was a Kaleidoscope. And that is a good thing. :)

Damn it again.

Miley Cyrus fans HATE Perez.

So, while trying to find a cheap knockoff to this cute tank dress from the Best of Both Worlds tour. I went onto a forum, to try to find some answers. What I found was a hatred for my dear P-Nasty. And this made me very sad. They jumped his shit over saying Miley didn't talk to many fans at a recent Legally Blonde showing. I mean, this is what they're gonna be mad about? Not the fact that he insinuated to the fact Miley smoked pot at Zootopia? Yeah, fans, you got it absolutely right.
I really have decided that I love Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana. They are both so delic. I mean, put on a Miley song and a Hannah episode, and I am set. Fuck yes. That stuff is the shiz. It truly is. And why yes, I am ten years old. :D

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Dear The O.C.

Dear The O.C.,

Hey. Just checking in, wanted to see how you've been since your cancellation. I was watching an old episode and I realized how much I missed you. I mean, we used to be so close. And I know that after our first year together, things really went downhill. Now I know it wasn't me, and I mean, you tried your best. But hey, this stuff happens. But I just wanted to check in. I see your parents are working at the CW for Gossip Girl. We've been hanging around a bit. Just casual. Not anything like us.

Miss you,

xoxoxo me.

The Office is the Shiz

So, I finally caught up on the Office. And damn, I love that show. I mean, it is amazing. Like, better than anything I have seen in forever. Every damn minute of the show is just perfect. And I am really critical of shows. Like, I don't know. Sometimes I just go with the flow of a show, but others I get really super critical. This show sometimes is annoying(I mean, I just don't know, there are moments where it falters) but most of the time, it is miraculous. I mean, seriously, I do not know how they come up with some of this stuff. Like, Dwight. I don't really call him that. I'm always ready to call him Dwigt, from that one episode. Oh Dwigt. I love this show. Too much. :)

Do I feel wrong? Surprisingly, no.

About a year ago, I used to love playing this Disney game of taking pictures of Hannah Montana. It was so fun. Then TMZ just introduced me to Miley's Naughty Pics. It is so wrong, but so amazing. Play it. Its great. Get the naughtiest picture you can of Miley. And really, its not that hard on that game. Miley really has taken a bunch of Naughty pics. lol Excuse me while I try to beat my best score.

Blair Waldorf is the Baddest Bitch Around

Now, I just love a bitch on tv. They are just so fun. I mean, sometimes they get annoying, but not this one. Blair Waldorf. Seriously everything about her is just juicy. I love her. I want to be her. I do not want to go against her. She could tear me apart. I mean, she has just left a trail of destruction in her wake. She should've stayed mean to Serena for longer, it would have been so much more fun. I mean, Serena never should cross Blair. No one should cross Blair. I don't know where she has learned all the evilness from, but damn. I love it. Blair Waldorf, I am in envy. Teach me the ways.

Monday, May 19, 2008

The photo that will forever be Kevin Jonas

Yes, I missed Kevin there. But I saw him. Yes I did.....

Here are some pics from the Q concert.


MMM sexy Jonai.

PKJ is my homeboy.

Poned, betches.

Mmm sexy Levine.

Dear Distanced

Dear Distanced,

Man, we used to be so close. You were the one who filled my inbox. And now, where are you? I don't know. And funny thing is, I don't care. We drifted, like I should have known and I deep down inside really have no desire to get back together. I feel we ended this long before the last time we hung out. It's been over for so long now I can't remember what it was like being your friend. Oh well, distanced, if you're okay with it, I'm cool. Have fun with your life. See you at the reunion.


Still Here.

Dear Undisclosed Duo

Dear Undisclosed Duo,

You forget me, I forget you. We're square. Never more. Since you already decided that.



I am just a mean person.

Any person who loves the Jonas Brothers has definitely seen the infamous fall of Nick Jonas on Saturday. Yes, people go "AW, NICK!" Yet everytime I see it(and trust me, I've watched it a bunch of times) I just laugh hysterically. I simply can't help but laugh when people fall. Like, my one friend, maybe three years ago, fell up the stairs, and you know what? I'm still laughing! I am just a horrible person who laughs at other people falling. I laugh at myself when I fall. Yeah, falling is just fucking funny. I mean, look at this:

Is that not fucking hilarious? I'm so proud of my Print Screenshot of Nick falling. I mean, bravo to me to capture his mortification. I mean, yeah, I hope he's okay, but it's hilarious! I laughed when I watched the video of Kevin falling too. Let me see if I can catch a great moment.....
Took me a few moments, but I got it. Not as funny as Nick, but still funny. Sorry future husband, I can't help it. Forgive me? 0:)

So word to the wise, if you fall, I will laugh. :)

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Dear Leona Lewis

Dear Leona Lewis,

Seriously. WTF? How long do you take to get ready? I wasted a half hour of my life waiting for your ass to sing three songs. THREE SONGS. I mean, yeah, you have an incredible voice, but like, you've only had one hit. Unless you count that Christmas song you had on the one OC Soundtrack. So you are so not at Diva Level. Like, you're not Mariah Carey. And thank goodness you aren't. I might have killed myself. Next time, be prompt. Get ready while the four artists before you were on. It's not like you didn't have time. Pfft.



Such Care and Consideration

JOE JONAS <3's HIS BRATZ DOLL. Isn't it adorable? Such care for her. He must take her along to all the shows he does. She probably gives him the confidence to get out there and do a great show. She knows all his secrets. Like when he fell at that award show, she saw all the tears. She kissed his boo-boos to make them all better. And he likes to keep her pretty. I mean, I wouldn't want to bring around a ratty Bratz doll. He just wants to make sure she's having a fun time. Nick and Kevin just let it go. Look at Kevin, he knows there's cameras. But this is Joe. I mean, at least it isn't Barney anymore. Well, he does look like he is repping the purple dinosaur. Maybe his doll is called Barney-etta? Oh, and you know what I bet? There's a glow in the dark Barney shirt underneath that purple sweater. Joe <3's Barney and Bratz.

Just Stare.

Terrifying, right?????? Gosh, that thing gives me the heeby-jeebies. I mean, WTF? Did you have you ruin Joe's face? And let me tell you, there's also a Nick one. Oh yes.....thank goodness Kevin is least liked....he didn't have to be put into that hell. :(

P.S. I'm sorry if I've given you nightmares.

Jonas Brothers Fans, You Are an Insult to Chuck Taylor.

Dear Young Jonas Brothers Fans,

Stop wearing Converse. Okay, you bought them only because Nick and Joe wear them. And they look stupid on you. You all are just so damn fake. I mean, when I wear converse, I get them gritty. You? You keep them squeaky clean! That's how you know a real Chuck Taylor wearer from the fakes. Get a life. Get some new shoes.


The Baddest Converse Wearer. EVER.

A Small, No, Gigantic Restrospect.

Now, before I go into randomly exquisite detail of the Q Concert, today and yesterday I stumbled across some thoughts. I rarely get serious in here (I simply want to entertain, not complain from a high horse) so bear with me as I go off into a semi-meaningless tirade.

First off, I started thinking about how I had seen Kevin Jonas and basically screamed orgasmically for him from behind a gate. Two things hit me there: first, I had embarrassed myself in front of my “future husband” (more on that later); and secondly, why did that even merit a scream such as what I did? Truth is, it didn’t. Nothing from behind that gate was truly appropriate. After all, I don’t know Kevin Jonas personally. And then it hit me: Why the Jonas Brothers? Why any of those celebrities? If we were indeed created equal, why do we place people on a pedestal? After all, they are just people. What makes them so special? The money. The more money, the more popular, the better.

And then you see things in magazines like, “Celebrities: They’re just like us.” First off, no, they aren’t. And second, even the magazine writers are on a different plateau than the readers. I don’t know how life picks out a celebrity, but it clearly missed me. I know I’ll never be famous or marry Kevin Jonas, and I’ll rest on the age old thought, “A girl can dream.” Yes, a girl can dream. But even with dreams, you get a sense of disappointment. Any person who says they hole-heartedly knew something they dreamt about wasn’t going to happen lied. Because there always is that miniscule fraction of hope. Anything is possible.

To me, I feel something unknown separates us “normal folks” from the destined famous. I don’t have a clue what that separation is, but there is one. I mean, I know halfway in my heart that all those dreams I meticulously plan out won’t come true. And the other half keeps dreaming. I mean, I’ll probably end up maybe graduating college on time, and living in a guest room at my sister’s, and working at the Morning Call. Even that has a large sense of dreaming in it. More appropriately, I’ll graduate whenever and waste my degree working as a Superfresh cashier, believing that the story I’m writing then is the story that’s going to change the world. Everyone that reads this is probably going to say I’m being way too cynical. That may be true. After all, I am only 18 years old, and I should have the world at my feet, yet I’ve already resorted to a painfully dull future. Or people just refuse to believe the truth. Because to me, I bet people who are destined to be something big never get this down on reality. They just know it’s going to happen. Maybe that’s the separation.

After I saw Kevin, I texted the big screen there and got to see “Ali got to see her future husband Kevin up close!” scroll across the bottom of the giant screen in hopes of making at least one person out there jealous. And well, I had lied at least twice in just that one sentence. Was twenty feet and behind a gate “up close”? And really, is he my future husband? After all, I saw at least 100 marriage proposals to the Jonas Brothers on the screen that night. Me and 10 million other girls want to marry Kevin Jonas (There’s probably 20 million apiece for Nick and Joe) and who will be the victor? None of them. It’ll probably be some temp at a recording studio who, ten years down the road, rarely listened to the Jonas Brothers. Because, seriously, put yourself in their shoes: would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who idolized you, and had your picture cover their room, and basically love you because you’re famous? No. In real life, kids, that’s called a stalker. And name one happy person who married their stalker. Yeah, I thought so.

And the truly romantics will point out too semi-glimmering examples (shining is just going too far): Katie Holmes and that waitress that’s with George Clooney. First, Katie Holmes: she had dreamed of marrying Tom Cruise as a little girl. Okay, that’s all well and good, but she is still a celebrity in her own right. And no one knows except her if she’s truly happy. Now, the waitress: just a normal girl who won George Clooney’s heart (for now). Alright, have you seen her? Fucking gorgeous. She models now. Ok, yeah, she was destined to serve cocktails. And I was destined to walk on Pluto. Plus, she probably lived some awesomely charmed life. Probably had it made in the shade. Not all celebrities did, but a damn good amount did.

I guess this all rolls down to escapism. We like to leave our mundane worlds to dream of an awesome one. When the going gets tough, we like to escape to our fake world, the celebrity world. I could use that as my excuse for what I did when Heath Ledger died. My Nana (God rest her soul, as well as Heath’s) was lying in a hospital bed, beginning her decline. I reveled in CNN, picking up every detail about Ledger to tell the set of people at bedside when they came out. I simply needed an escape for my mind. But what was everyone else’s excuse? I got at least ten texts that day from different people, saying, “Did you hear about Heath Ledger?” It was like a game that day: who could tell someone that didn’t know. I was excited when I found someone who hadn’t heard. Instead of feeling bad that a beloved actor had passed before his time, I joined the telling game. And plus, was Heath even worth it? Did he deserve 10 magazine covers just because a lot of people knew him? My Nana was known by many, and she didn’t get a cover, and I probably won’t when I die (never say never). Heath was just one of those lucky, special guys who happened to be a celebrity at the time of his death. Many famous people who die don’t get covers because no one cares about them anymore. Old news. There’s definitely a difference because a celebrity and being famous.

Now I know I won’t follow what I preach. I’ve accepted that. I won’t stop obsessing over the Jonas Brothers for a while (until another band takes my attention), and I most certainly won’t stop putting celebrities on a pedestal. Humans innately do it. We can’t not look up and see something above us, whether a person or a power. I guess through al of this, I see, once again, my chances at obtaining my dreams are slim to none. But I can still dream. I just have to be able to pull my head out of the clouds when needed. To quote an odd source for something like this, but definitely not for me, “Life’s what you make it, so let’s make it rock.” Ms. Montana has got it. Make your life as best as you can. Yet I add something: at the end of the day, make sure you’re happy.

Thus ends my rant. Onto funnier, shorter, and more hypocritical thoughts. :)

Friday, May 16, 2008


Today is the Q Concert, so I will have to leave the home and my blog to hopefully meet celebrities. Good times, good times everyone.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Hot: sexy; attractive. Pictured: Kevin Jonas

I am in love with this photo. Truly in love. Wow. I'm just enjoying my time, staring. Kevin. Yummy. Just stare, people. So delicious. How can you object? I mean, SERIOUSLY. That man is uber sexy. 20th unsexiest man my ass. Bullshit. This man is unbelievably gorge. Now I remember why "I'm a PKJ girl." Oh yeah, because pics of this. Hells Yeah.

Miley Cyrus, there's 7 things I hate about you too....

Dear Miley,

Why does your song have to be so damn infectious? I mean, seriously. I was like, alright, this will be crap, but Hannah Montana is better than Miley anyways. Then I listen to the single, and I thought it was good. Curses! Now I'm still a Miley Cyrus fan. I thought I would be over you. You are just so darn, I don't even know. But I mean, 18 year olds are not supposed to thoroughly enjoy a 15 year old's show and music. But let me tell everyone, I will be getting an advance ticket to the Hannah Montana movie. And going to my connection to get you cd early. Yes, you heard it, Miley. I'm still a fan. The moment I thought I was out of your trap was the second I got snapped back in. To quote you on Hannah Montana, you are not just good, you are scary good. Yes, that is a legitimate quote. From the episode You're So Sue-able To Me, or something of that sort. Yeah, I knew that right off the top of my head. Because I'm that darn addictive.

Well, I'll be off crying into my pillow because I'm still a Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus fan.


Relatively Ashamed.

P.S. What is up with Mandy? I mean, seriously. She has her own fan site. Didn't know friends of celebrities get fan sites. Of course, she is Miley's back-up dancer. Hello, K-Fed. Mandy's new name: M-Jir. Yeah, patent that.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

"Hey, how ya doing? I'm a creepy cave porn star."

So, I am a major fan of JKras. But am I a fan of a scruffy JKras? Yeah, sorry, but this photo really scares me. Like, it's too scruffy. He just really needs to shave that. If he needs someone to do that, I'll be first in line. I mean, yeah, that's mad awkward but still, any chance to be close to JKras is a good time for me. A hell of a good time. ;)
But doesn't he just look like a porn star? Like, he's just eying up some busty chick to put in his new film, Leather----s(you can fill in whatever you want in that four letter word). He totally has that scary look in his eyes. That totally perverted scary look. Like, I would be afraid to meet him like that anywhere. I mean, usually, I would jump through fire hoops to meet JKras. Hot damn, I would want a piece of that. He's on the list of men that I would definitely just do anything for. I've got like, quite a few guys on that list. Is that bad? Does that make me like a horny teenage girl who would go for any hot celebrity? I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.
But I digress(I must say that to shout out to my favorite Finnish Spitz), JKras is downright scary in this photo. Like, it terrifies me. Great, now I'm gonna have nightmares with this pic. Him coming at me with that look in his eye. No, JKras, I don't want to be in a seedy cave porno with you. Not again.

Wonka's Nerds are Bringing Out the Worst in Us

So I came across this fact a long, long time ago. But I thought I would share it with you. As sweet and tangy Nerds Candy are, they in fact, are evil. Oh yes, I'm honest to blog here(lol Juno). How do you pour them out? Straight into your a flask. Or into your popping pills. See? HA! I told you all I wasn't lying. I am here to prove that kids' candy really is aiming to teach us all that we are going to turn into addicts. Addicts, I tell you!

To All the Non Believers

I am here, at almost eight in the morning, waiting for the little adorable booger that is my nephew. I don't really have much to say, but just to show off that me waking up can be done. I can get up at 7:30 after falling asleep at only 2:30 and waking up, wide awake, and able to take my little booger into my bed to make sure he's babysat. I have disproved all the non believers. HA! How do you like me now? I'm exhausted, but I am the last one standing. Or swaying over half asleep. Whatever works.

Oh yeah, BTW, if you read this blog, read my friends' blogs:

Yeah, I am just that cool.

Biker Guys Just Want To Have Fun

While dining at the classy as all heck Commix Hotel, I enjoyed an to say the least, interesting meal until a scary band of bikers came in. Yes, I know that is very stereotypical to say they were scary, but no seriously, I didn't even want to look their way. I thought they would break me in half. And I prefer being whole. It's kinda my thing. So I decided to keep away from them while they laughed uproariously(oh yes, nine dollar word!) and scared the living daylights out of me. Bikers seriously are scary. I mean, they are giant, and they wear lots of leather, and bandanas. In the mean way. Not the "arrr I'm a pirate" way to wear a bandana, but the "Ah, I'm badass" way. And that's scary. Who would've thought bandanas were scary? I used to think they were just pleasant little pieces of fabric. But add a biker to them and they are downright terrifying. I think I'll stay away from the Commix Hotel. The angry music and bikers are too much for me.

Yes, waiter? Chuck please.

This, my dearest readers, is Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl. Just look at that delectable piece of fuck pie. I mean, seriously, how could anyone resist that smirk? I go weak in the knees.....or is it somewhere else? Huh. Anyways, Chuck Bass is conniving and mean, and a player. I generally don't go for that, but hot damn, if I had a chance with that guy, yeah I would so go for it. I think I might be better suited for the real actor, Ed Westwick. I hear he has got an accent. Are you kidding me? This man is perfect! Just ship him over here right now, I'll do the rest. I mean, seriously. Like, this guy just is so hot I do not know what to do with myself. I really don't. Well, I know what to do, but I won't give you the details.
Anyway, this boy is yummy. I would not mind Six Minutes with him(oh, Jonas Brothers reference in an otherwise non-Jonas Brothers post! Ten points!)....or really, any amount of time. I just want to hear that accent. Accents kill me. I mean, if you've got an accent, you're a sho-in for me. Well, you also have to be cute. And nice. And rich. So yeah, if you have an accent, you are off to a good start.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Team Drina, Team Drina!

Oh yay, yet another quarrel/ spat/ argument/ whatever the hell it is on the Hills. Mmm....just sounds delicious. I can finally keep up with this one. :) LC the CB and Lo-Life have taken up residence in that giant house that is bigger than my house, my dorm, my sister's house, and my uncle's house and Drina is stuck in the pool house. She's the resident Ryan Atwood. :) Aw, how cute.
Well, I'm all for Drina. She reminds me of me. Like, just doing her own thang, and chillaxing and reading in the back house. Plus, she picks the odd guys. Like Justin Bobby. And hey, he's totally looking better than before. Which makes me all for that. Mmmm another sexy JB. Yes.
Well, LC-CB totally did not understand that she was pissing Drina off. Lo-Life is being uber annoying. I used to like her. Now she's all like, annoying whiny bitch. I don't know, she just bothers me. I feel like there are a million and one similarities between my life and the Hills. Gotta love that.....well, not really. Their life is just so much more fabulous.
Now I'm just needing to vent on how much I seriously love the Hills. I can deny it all I want, but like, it's just so damn appealing. Like, it's their life but yet it's not. They pretty much are acting, but it feels so real and it's like, wow, this is happening. Cool. Oh curses. I'm in love with the Hills. Years ago, when it first premiered, I promised myself I wasn't gonna gonna get into this show. I would avoid reality shows like the plague. I pretty much thought that if I saw it, I was gonna like, turn into a lifeless reality watching drone. And I must say that wow, I'm not. I guess since the Hills isn't really reality. They should like, do more on their promotion of the that Rolling Stone photoshoot. I would love to see the dirt on that shit. I mean, Heidi-Ho Bag and LC-CB in the same area? Where it is supposed to be staged and not where they really staged it but they're trying to make it look like it wasn't. But ah well. I'll still be watching the Hills come August. And really, August? Like, WTF? Actually could they push it to September? I really hate watching it on my computer(which is still a bitch!!!!) because when it gets to the big intense moments, it pauses to buffer and stops awkwardly on them so I have drunk Drina and LC-CB doing what she seems to be doing best-crying.
Oh yeah, like, what the hell was up with LC-CB's pjs? I mean, come on. Like, a dress? At least Drina and Lo-Life did it right with actual pajamas. You don't always have to look perfect...I mean, seriously.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Dear Computer

Dear Computer,

I hate you. You suck. Why do I waste two hours on a wallpaper just for you to fucking close? You are a bitch. Could you properly work and not piss me off? Kthxbye.

Can I Marry My Nails?

I'm pretty sure it's impossible, but yeah. Ah, I love them. Got them done today and they are majorly cool. I mean, so cool that yeah, I want to marry them. Its probably illegal in almost all the states. Maybe Vermont or Massachusetts lets it go. I did see that Family Guy episode where Adam West went to marry his hand. So maybe. Who knows?
Today is my first of many Pimpin' Out places. :) I'm pimping out the best nail place ever. Crystal Nails. And no, this isn't in hopes that they'll give me free manicures for a year. :) But yeah, if you all like to get your nails done, go there. They are so cute. Plasma screen tvs, and comfy chairs, and awesome work. The one even does killer work without a top of a finger! Ha, this is fun.
So, thus ends my first pimping of a place. Yeah, I am just that cool.

It's Jonas Fair.

I had been aiming to make a pun with that. Like, it's just no fair. But it's jonas fair. The two kinda sound alike. Alright, yeah, I completely messed that joke up. Nevertheless...

The Jonas Brothers played Wango Tango somewhere in the world. I just don't keep up with those things. But I was told to look at the pictures from it. And then I see that picture, up above. And goddamn it. I know it would be impossible for me to say, date, marry, or even meet the Jonas Brothers. I know it, you don't have to tell me another time(which would make it like, the bazillionth millionth time). I can't help it, I want to dream. I mean, Kevin Jonas is just a hot ball of something. And wow, would I like to do some censored things to him. Of course, I'd have to wait, even if I got a chance to be with him. That whole purity thing. That's alright. I'm all for it. I'll wait. And then, that night....well, you know.

But I digress. This is just a little venting of how unrealistic people can think, and the whole deal with hot celebrities. I've played a hundred scenarios in my head about how I'll become famous, and whatnot. I do eventually hope to have my writings published, but even that turns into one of those damn pipe dreams. You know, I blame Mr. Hershey, my 11th grade teacher for giving me a crappy name for those dreams. Couldn't they have just been dreams? Why the hell does there have to be pipes involved? Whenever I think of them, I think of those pipes Mario and Luigi jump down in those videogames and they end up in a filthy ass bar in which Tony Danza is the bartender. Now why put all my good dreams stuck in there? I feel like I'm in the corner of that bar, making out with Kevin Jonas. I'd probably move and get a rusty nail jabbed in me, and need a tetanus shot and then I gotta leave, and go back to the cruel real world, and pay a shitload of money in hospital bills because George Bush doesn't care about Pipe Dreamers.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

PlayGoth Playmates

Now, if any of you actually know me, you'll know I enjoy Playboy. Not like, enjoy. But rather, I'm a fan of the bunny. I love the show the Girls Next Door, and that bunny is just so awesome. I've been to the Playboy stores in Vegas, I've purchased a Playboy, I have numerous, numerous merchandise of the bunny, and I own every season of the GND. I loved going into Spencer's, where the perverse rejoice, and I buy my stash of Playboy. They have blankets, jewelry, purses, wallets, bar stools. You name it, you got it. This was perhaps the only store that had a lot of merchandise for the bunny. Then, Deb started selling socks. Yeah, I was cool with that. I got a ton of cheap socks. And Charlotte Russe put in some clothes, which I didn't mind, since now I could have a jacket that was Playboy without spending a hundred dollars at the PB store. And now, Hot Topic is selling stuff.
So what exactly is my beef? I mean, I love Hot Topic. I buy a ton of stuff from there. But so does every single other teen who is fake emo and pretends that no one understands them. I go in there to find random shirts and Alice in Wonderland stuff. They go in to be against the norm, when, in actuality, they are becoming the norm. So once again, why am I so mad?
Well, every stupid teenager that I hate will be wearing Playboy. I liked being one of the only. The awkward girl who wore her Playboy tshirt in pride. The one who her roommate convinced a guy that I worked for Playboy and have done "Videos." Now everyone and their loser cousin will be buying "Playboy Exposed." Um, excuse me, but how much more exposed can Playboy get? Yeah, exactly my point.
Stupid Hot Topic. Stop selling this stuff. You've turned everything that I like into something everyone else loves. And they weren't even into it when it wasn't cool! Argh. I guess Playboy will now die off like Pirates of the Caribbean, any Superhero movie, any 70s, 80s, or 90s cartoon did when they hit Hot Topic. They are really cool for like, ten minutes. And then Hot Topic kills them.

Dear Contradictory Bitch

Dear Contradictory Bitch(not to be confused with Undisclosed Bitch),

I like what I like. I do what I do. I do not need a negative comment on everything I say. If I wanted that, I'd ask. Don't judge me worse than I judge myself. You make me feel like crap about everything. You make me feel like nothing. And contrary to popular belief, I am more than nothing. So back off, or I'm gonna give you your own medicine. An annoying negative comment on every goddamn thing you say. K Bye.

Lover of all that you hate.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Wanted: The Perfect Man

So, my brother's wedding is in.....uh, a few weeks we'll say. And I got the dress, got the outfit, all that jazz, but then I just keep forgetting. Um, I have a guest ticket thing. And who to take? Well, let's look at all my options:
Bachelor #1: Creepy Stalker Cafeteria Boy.......enough said. NO.
Bachelor #2: Mr. Perfect(ly Invisible)...... No one will believe me if I brought him. Or see him.
Bachelor #3: Legolas Cardboard Cutout. Yeah, he doesn't bend well. And not very talkative at all. Sigh.

I could hold out for a JoBro, or someone so absolutely perfect, but as we all know, those people simply don't exist. Or they have been hiding from me. They probably have a group, the Perfect Men Club, and their goal is to torture people who are desperately in search for them. They just like to tease. Curses. I'll have to find their meeting place. It can't be that hard. Right? Maybe I'll just stalk the Jonas Brothers. They have to belong to it, I'm sure of it.

SO, if you or any of your friends know a wonderful date for me for my brother's wedding, Contact Me. Just like comment. Then I'd know if people were reading. I feel this blog is lost in the blogstraphere. Just out there, chilling in some secluded corner, marching to the beat of its own drum. And staring at all those popular blogs. Pfft.

Hm, didn't know blogs were just like high school. That really shouldn't surprise me.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

That's right, I'm an American version of Miss Tila

According to, Ali means the American version of Tila Tequila. Isn't she American already? Either way, I'm pretty sure I'm not a dwarf hoe. If I am, please tell me, because I had no idea. Also, Ali is that person that stands next to you, stares and makes you mad uncomfortable. Now I can see that that is me. I do like to just stand around and freak people out. I just look around, and do those quick glances. Then, finally, when the person is like, "What the fuck is your problem?" I'm just like, "Oh my gosh, when did you get here?" Then I just walk away. Yeah, those are some good times. I've freaked out numerous people.

Either way, Ali's definition is better than Alexis. Alexis gives good head, and gets drunk, stoned and high all at the same time. First off, um.....yeah, again, I really do not think that is me. I hope not. There are a few nights where I've blacked out. If you have any information on those nights, please inform me. I lost a shoe one time. And I really miss it.
Second, um, I was under the assumption high and stoned was the same thing......Is it like high is the pot version of drunk, and stoned is the pot version of plastered? Because, either way, how can you be both? I don't know. I guess I'll have to try that out. Excuse me while I go smoke.

What. A. Hoe.

This, my friends, is Tila Tequila. She's a dwarf-sized hoe-bag. She has a tv show where doofus guys and scary girls who could kick my ass fight over her. It's pretty entertaining actually. They eat pig vaginas, and search for blue balls, and go to prom, and get keys to her "heart"(i.e. you know what). Bobby got it before, but Tila is a fame whore so she dumped his ass and got a second season. That laugh is infectious....No, really, I think you can get an infection from it. That would be the safest thing to get from Tila.
That cover says, "Aren't you in love with me yet?" Why yes, Tila I am. I'm so in love that once I hit 21, I will be all over A Shot At Love 7. Oh yeah, that one will be the one. Then, if I don't win, my kids will probably try out. She'll still be on tv I'm guessing.
Lastly, look at the side. JONAS BROTHERS. Now, dang it, I'm gonna have to buy that magazine. Wonderful. The weird magazine dude will stare at me as I'm buying it just like when I asked if they had the new Playboy the one time. Awkward I must say. Now they'll definitely think I'm a taco lover....Well, if it has the right, that was just disgusting. I am sick.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Dear Miley and Mandy

Dear Miley and Mandy,

You suck. Stop making crappy videos. Stick to Hannah and being Hannah's back-up dancer. Fifteen year olds should not be as whory as you. Twenty year olds should not want to voluntarily hang out with fifteen year olds. Stop making videos. Your voices are horrible. I watch up from my worst nightmares in a cold sweat hearing Miley's horrible honking noise. I cry then. I really do. Why do you make me cry? Why do I deserve to be in such pain just because you live? Mandy - find a cliff and dance down to the bottom. Then, proceed to die. Miley - crawl back into your Tennesse cave where a proper exorcism can be performed and the goodie-goodie can come back. I'm sick of Slutty Miley.


(yes, I do love Hannah, that isn't my real name. I wish.)

P.S. Stop making stupid Hannah episodes - time travel? Come on, are you that desperate??

Evil Rooms.

So, this is a post to say how much I hate my room. It's a big mess. If only I could just magically send it all to my other messy room, I would be so happy. I still have to do way too much. I hate the end of the year. I should be studying; instead I'm stuck cleaning up my room...fucking A. Oh well, I'll just flunk my test tomorrow. Or at least bullshit it quite well. I think I can make up a lot of stuff under pressure. I've done it before, and I'll do it again. Oh well.

Looking at the photo, I really miss the Beatles. They seemed like so much fun. I wish I could have chilled with them. That would be a righteous time. Hells yes.