Dear Jessica Alba,
I warned you. You were supposed to stop acting. And what do you do to get back at me??? Get a gig on The Office? Oh, it's on. I swear to God I'm gonna hire an assassin to get you wounded so you can't do the episode. Because I won't leave an innocent baby motherless. Maybe I'll paralyze you so you can never act. I just can't believe. WHORE!!!!
Why do you have to go on and murder The Office? It was already going downhill, you're going to kill it!!!!!!
Excuse me while I go mourn The Office.
Widow of the Office