So, tonight was the premiere of that show, Secret Life of the American Teenager, and well.....Brenda Hampton needs to really find something better to do. Because really, the show kinda sucked. Well, not kinda. It totally sucked. It was sooooo stereotypical and preachy that I wanted to gag. Like, vomit. I mean, seriously. Soooo lame.
So the main character is a sexually active band geek. Why are the bandos always the ones to jump in the sack? Is all that blowing and sucking and pounding really getting to them? I guess so. Because this girl, Amy, just basically had bad sex with this "rebel." But they've already basically given it away that he isn't a rebel. He's a nympho because he was sexually abused and now adopted by a black guy. Wow, that is mad different and breaking some barriers. Wow. I am impressed.
Not.
From there, the chick gets preggo. And her two lameass friends tell her the best option is to go with this dorky Seth Cohen wannabe and fall in love and get married, have sex, and tell him she's pregnant. Yes, that was their big smart idea. Brilliant! How can that NOT work?
But the dorky Seth wannabe talks to the counselor a la Life With Derek, and tries to get into band to impress said sad Juno. Oh the hilarium that ensues. I mean, that boy has some great timing. And yes, I'm being sarcastic. The boy was annoying as shit.
And then there was stereotypical Christian girl. I think the stereotypes of devout Christians is why when the Jonas Brothers talk about religion, I get annoyed. Because characters like this. Naturally, the girl is absolutely perfect. Blonde hair, cheerleader; she reminds me of Hilary Faye from Saved. And of course, there is a disabled brother. But she treats him well. Of course. She is just so damn perfect. And she's saving herself. And has religious parties at her house, and is dating a jock. Wow, that's never been done before.
So this jock is like, into religion and shit, but totally is a guy so he wants to fuck the aptly named Grace. So instead of masterbating like any other guy, he goes and fucks the stereotypical Latina sexpot. She totally makes out with him at the dance where the disabled boy screams and EVERYONE comes out to see. Well, so much for secrets, right?
Oh yeah, and Molly Ringwald is in it. Poor Ringwald. I'd rather remember her semi-good acting skills in her 80's movies than this shitfest.
And there's a slutty 13 year old too apparently. She wears those midriff baring tops. What. A. Scandal.
And the damn show must have said the word 'sex' about fifty times. Every sentence had sex in it. We get it. This is a hot button topic.
The show plays like a hour long PSA. Ugh. I hate that. And all the actors suck some ass.
And I know I'll probably end up watching it at points just to see how sucky it is.
It wants to be Juno, and totally isn't. Blah Blah Blah.
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